How long she has to suffer? She wondered herself.
Nothing could be more torturous than your own thoughts; monumentally rusted, with old worn days. Pulling you towards the blackest tunnel of ghastly experiences, ones you might be running from. It pulls you back! So hard that you can’t even make a single step forward and might crash to the ground in agony. This leaves you in distress, nourishes unhappiness in you and finally you get fulfilled with an aimless guilt & loneliness. It hurts, to be in a situation like this. Sometimes it feels like swallowing a big fat stone that’s stuck into your throat, neither go in nor out. This feeling; this runs out into your whole body and shudders every single atom in it.
How you can cope with such situation? How you can grab and pull out that big fat stone that’s gashing you inside and cutting your heart brutally? How you can wipe out that invisible blood that drains out from your face? How you can stand still with the unbearable pain that wrenches your stomach and descend your heart to it? How?
Life is full of experiences, good, bad, right, wrong, harsh and gentle. Your brain! Your brain is a book of endless pages, where every single passed moment is inscribed. Whenever you are with yourself, something in you starts reading it out loudly and by the passage of time it becomes so loud that it could vibrate the whole you. It could shake you so hard that you can get broken at the same time and get scattered with a single touch of a cold breeze. It’s not easy, not at all! To survive like this. To walk broken and keep every single piece assemble in its place.