Few words are not meant to be spoken, you just have to draw in and out like you’re breathing them, only felt but never heard.
Sitting on a wooden bench in a park looking all around, watching people busy in their own stuff, cheering, shouting, playing, loving, talking, enjoying and you continuously poking your mind into irrational judgments about persons like an idiot and wondering how they lie in a different situation than you? Comparing your life with theirs like a goof. Everyone is totally OK, except you and you incessantly asking yourself why? Why so.
Reverting to the old stories and letting the fears to take control and at this very moment you’re losing your faith, your hope and unknowingly yourself. This is the extremely lonely part of your journey. You need someone to speak with, not only for speaking or exchanging few words with, you also want to place your fears and expectations onto them. You want someone to hear you, to do what you want them to do for you, accomplishing your presumptions.
But this is the saddest part, you have people but not those you want or you have them but they’re not willing to hear or they are near but you’re so distant from their heart that they can’t hear the words you speak. At this instant expecting from them is not fair to them.
This is completely normal if they go crazy when you start speaking up for yourself. They’re human, not supposed to hear you or returning what you’ve done for them, and forcing is not gonna work in anyway.
Expecting from them can lead you to extensive damage so it is much better to keep it deep within you, within your Soul than to conveying it to others.